I don’t know why, but this year being single during the holidays is hitting me harder than it has in previous years. Perhaps this is just the natural progression of things- the older we get, the more time we spend pondering the ‘what ifs’ of our lives. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve been spending too much time watching Hallmark Christmas movies this year (and thus also being bombarded by every commercial throwing shiny happy couples in my face)!
My roommate, Brooke, and I have decided we would like to live our own Hallmark Christmas movie. The formula is actually quite simple:
- Be a widow or widower (having kids is a bonus- they’re a great way to garner sympathy).
- Hate Christmas because something bad happened to you as a child (you didn’t get what you asked for- a new Mommy or Daddy); or as an adult (your spouse died on Christmas Eve).
- Take a random trip to an out-of-the-way town that drips with Christmas joy.
- Ignore or be rude to the super Hot Guy that stumbles his way into your path disrupting whatever inane activity you were just involved in (usually mocking the simple townspeople to your friend you’re speaking to on your cell as you walk down the gaudily decorated street).
- Decide your trip was silly and almost immediately decide to leave.
- Get sidetracked by same Hot Guy on your way out of town when you see him performing an amazing act of kindness (saving puppies from certain death or stopping traffic to help an old lady across the street perhaps). At this point he will look you in the eyes and ask you to dinner. You accept (although you don’t know why and you’re surprised by your answer).
- Fall madly in love on the first date and just know that this is the man of your destiny.
- Feel your heart quickly beginning to melt away the layers of hurt so that now you are a one-person Christmas machine (cranking out cards, buying gifts, volunteering at the local soup kitchen, etc.).
- Have a crisis of confidence or have an urgent matter back home make you realize how rash you have been; you flee Christmas-town and Hot Guy in tears (with the vow to never love again).
- Sit miserable and alone (for a day) in your cold, dark house until Hot Guy comes knocking on your door to profess his undying love for you. Your heart melts once again when you see that, while you were sitting in darkness, Hot Guy decorated the outside of your house with a gagillion twinkling lights… he’s even imported snow! He will get down on one knee, produce a Neil Lane sparkler, and tell you that you are his only source of happiness and he cannot live without you.
- Live happily ever after.
Done! Who wouldn’t want to live there?!
It’s a silly look at a real issue- being single during the holidays. Our society tells us that we are only “complete” when we are with a significant other.
I know, I know… all you married people will chime in with choruses of, “It ain’t all a bed of roses on this side of the fence either, sister! Heck, I’d like to spend the holidays without a nagging spouse and screaming kids just once!” The grass is always greener. But that realization doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t fill the void of not having a hand to hold as you walk through the Trail of Lights (an Austin tradition); of sharing the intimacy of a still, quiet Christmas morning in front of the tree; of the giddy anticipation of that special gift your significant other thoughtfully picked out, carefully wrapped, and placed under the tree for you. 
So I will go to the one Script that always works for me. I will read for the nth time the story of a love so consuming, so pure that it changed the world. I will revel in the contentment of knowing the He is pursuing me, loving me, and plotting the best for me. I will make a cup of hot cocoa and snuggle up by the tree with The Source of light and love. And I will rejoice in my struggles. I will give thanks for my journey. It is that which has made me who I am now and is shaping the person I am to become. I wouldn’t change a thing…
Unless you happen to know Hot Guy?! 😉
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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